It all started last night. My anxiety started consuming me and I found myself in agony with my nervous stomach. I was surfing online looking at wedding blogs and pinterest–my biggest confidence killer And suddenly I felt like a horrible photographer. Looking at all of these amazing pictures online, some I couldn’t dream of being able to accomplish, and I found myself so anxious for a wedding I’m photographing today. I’m shooting with a new camera (yay!), but I’m not overly confident using it yet. I’m using a new light set-up for inside the church, the weather is rain, rain, and thunderstorms, the humidity is peanut-butter thick, and the bride gave me a stack of pictures (from pinterest) she’d like me to try. I stayed up so late last night practicing my camera and my lights, and stressing out of course.
This morning I woke up wondering how I was going to get my confidence back. I can only be the photographer that I am right now, today. She hired me, and I can do this. I will have fun doing it. And it hit me,
As long as I’m continually striving to grow, learn new things, and be the best photographer I can be in this moment, then that is good enough. Isn’t the same true with life, as well?
Thanks, pinterest, for that one
So off I go to shoot a wedding in less than ideal conditions with a steep learning curve with my gear. But my nervous stomach is gone and my creative juices are flowing and ready!
If you think of it, though, send me your creative mojo vibes and prayers for strength!